


1990 - 2.0

by twinkhemmings



Series: 90's love [2]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Ashton's mum is the cutest tbh, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Declarations Of Love, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, First Love, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Hand Jobs, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Rating: M, Recreational Drug Use, Smut, Stoner!Ashton, Stoner!Luke, Substance Abuse, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 15:52:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4925716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinkhemmings/pseuds/twinkhemmings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Let me have you" Ashton murmured as he pulled from the kiss to suck against the taut skin of Luke's neck, the other boy continuing to card his hands through Ashton's unruly curls.</p><p>"You already do"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1990 - 2.0

**Author's Note:**

> This is part 2 of the Lashton '90's Love', so please read the first part before this!
> 
> Any feedback is much appreciated and I can't thank you enough for all the kind words. ♡

Ashton slammed the front door upon coming home, having dropped Luke off at his house just moments before. He slung his bag on top of the pile of trainers and headed to the kitchen in search for some food. He was surprised to find his mother there waiting for him – she normally did an extra shift at the café on a Tuesday night. She was sat at the table with a few bits of paper and a tape in front of her, her gaze lifting from her hands folded in front of her upon Ashton’s entrance to the room. He couldn’t help but notice that her eyes were watery, her breaths slightly shaky when she smiled at him nervously.

“Sweetheart” she cooed; “Come, sit down. I think we need to talk” she continued, indicating to the chair opposite her at the small table. Ashton’s heart began to race, concerned with what he could’ve done that meant his mother had to confront him; she’d only ever sat him down to talk when he smashed the window of his primary school.

“I found this in your room earlier when I was tidying” she said with an uncertain voice, sliding the tape across so that it was in front of him. Upon picking up the tape and turning it to read the label, Ashton felt bile rise in his throat and his ears thump with the sound of his blood cursing through his veins.

 

_It was Luke’s mixtape._

“It’s not – I mean, I don’t” Ashton garbled, his mouth dry; “It’s not what you think mum, I promise” he defended, tears forming in his eyes as his mother looked at the wall and swallowed in an attempt to control herself.

“Don’t lie to me Ashton. Do you think I’m stupid?” she whispered, running her hands through her hair as her hands began to shake.

“Mum, don’t make me do this” he whimpered, reaching to grab her hand but failing as she pulled them away, a choked sound leaving his throat at the rejection; “Please don’t, I can’t lose you over this – I can change, I swear, it’s nothing.”

“Don’t you fucking _dare_ , Ashton Irwin” she swore, opening her eyes as she exhaled heavily; “Don’t you ever try to change who you are.”

Ashton didn’t know what to feel at this moment in time as his mother was giving him mixed signals; did she hate him? Did she not? He knew it was highly unlikely that she would support this kind of lifestyle but he also knew that she had _always_ encouraged him to be who he was; to stand up to the system and fight for himself.

“I love you, Ashton” she sobbed as her tears began to roll freely down her cheeks; “You’re my baby boy and I don’t care who you are, no matter what other people say – you’re still my son and there’s _nothing_ that would ever change that.”

Ashton began to cry when he saw his mother crumble, when he heard those words leave her mouth and echo into the linoleum room surrounding them. “You don’t hate me?” he whispered, his lower lip trembling as he raised his head to meet her gaze, their clouded eyes meeting across the table.

“ _God,_ Ashton, I could never hate you!?” she cried, pulling herself up from her chair and kneeling in front of him, her hands holding the side of his face as her son crumbled under his building emotions; “I hate the fact that you didn’t tell me – that you automatically assumed I feel the same way about them as everyone else does!” by ‘them’ Ashton assumed she was meaning homosexuals, making him wince a little bit at the prospect of admitting that he _was_ gay.

“Of course I’d presume that. Everyone hates them mum – everyone’s going to hate _me_ because _I’m one of them”_ Ashton sobbed hysterically, trying to shrug his face out of her grip with little success as she held on tightly and began to press kisses to his cheeks to comfort him; “Dad’s going to fucking kill me, he’s going to kick me out and them I’m going to have absolutely nothing, mum. What am I supposed to _do?”_

“Then we don’t tell anyone, okay? We keep this between me and you, sweetheart, because I’m not prepared to let you get beaten up every day until you leave college because you’re something that not everyone agrees with” Ashton’s heart sinking with her words as he thought about having to continue hiding who he is; “But you won’t have to do it forever, I promise. People’s views are already starting to change, especially in the posher bits of Manchester, I mean; they’ve got a whole _street_ dedicated to gay bars and bookshops!”

 

Ashton wanted to believe her; wanted to imagine being who he was without the judgemental stares and the people spitting at him as he walked down the street; wanted to hold Luke’s hand without someone punching them in the stomach and calling them ‘faggots’. He wanted to be _free_ , he wanted to _be himself_.

“I hate myself for it, mum. I don’t fucking want this but it’s happened and it kills me” Ashton whimpered, his mother bundling him into her lap on the floor and pulling his face into the crook of her neck; “ _I love him,_ mum -  I love him but I’m not allowed to and it hurts so much, so fucking much.”

“I know, baby; I’ve known for months now. I’ve known ever since you came home from college babbling on about how you’ve bumped into Luke again and how nice you thought he was” she chuckled into his ear, kissing his temple and pushing his hair away from his damp cheeks; “But it’s okay. You’re still Ashton.”

 _‘You’re still Ashton’_ hummed in his ears as he cried into her shoulder, his whole world seeming to crumble around him as his mother attempted to hold the pieces together. He wanted things to be easy, wanted to be able to hold Luke and tell him that the two of them had nothing to worry about – that they will both be fine. But it wasn’t like that. The bruises Luke had sucked into his skin earlier seemed to burn as he continued to cry, seemed to seer onto his skin in a way that Ashton thought was beautiful but other people would be disgusted at. Luke’s mark was not only there physically but mentally too, because Ashton was well and truly absorbed in the other boy; helplessly drowning in tide filled with foreign emotions.

 

*

Ashton woke up feeling as though he was still in a dream, as though the conversation with his mother the night before was something that never actually occurred. Pulling himself from his bed and stumbling towards his mirror showed that _everything_ about yesterday definitely happened – the scratches down his chest and the few blossoming bruises reminding him of the ethereal boy down the street. He pressed his fingers against the purple decorating the crook of his neck, a smile fluttering onto his face as the skin throbbed where he applied the pressure as he remembered exactly how it felt when Luke was creating them.

 _Luke_. That boy was all Ashton seemed to be able to think about; the way his mom-cut jeans elongated his already lengthy legs, the way his green parka drowned him and allowed him to cower into it and blend into the background at college. But Ashton saw more to Luke than the surface everyone else was allowed to see – he got to see the way the sweat gathered on Luke’s forehead in the back of his brother’s car, the way his hand sounded as it dragged down the fogged window when Ashton tended to his every desire, the way his pale body quivered under Ashton’s touch. He wanted to see Luke in that state every day for the rest of his life, every day until the other boy would no longer want him.

Ashton manged to pull himself out of his own thoughts when he heard his brothers stamping their way down the stairs for breakfast, the morning light flooding through his half-pulled curtains and casting a stream of light over his skin. He heaved his jeans up his legs, fastening the button swiftly and tugging an ‘Oasis’ t-shirt onto his torso before grabbing an old black hoodie.

 

*

“Morning, love” his mother cooed when he walked in, her eyes heavy and tired as though she hadn’t even slept; “There’s some eggs in the pan and some toast will be ready any minute if you want to grab yourself some juice.”

“What’s the special occasion mum? You never do breakfast like this” Owen asked, smearing butter onto his toast.

“Oh, it’s nothing, we just happened to have some eggs in and I thought I could treat my boys to a good meal” she lied, Ashton glancing at her in knowing as she gave him a warm smile; “And anyway, you and Elliot can go out for tea tonight, Ashton’s having a friend over” she continued, Ashton’s head springing up from the table to look at his mum questioningly.

“I do?” Ashton queried, grabbing a slice of toast that had just popped up much to Elliot’s annoyance.

“Yes, I thought it would be nice for Luke to spend the night” she stated calmly, spooning eggs onto all three boy’s prepared toast; “I think it’s really great that you two have become close again and I haven’t seen him in years, so it would be nice if he’d come round tonight so we can have dinner together.”

Ashton almost choked on his toast when she said that Luke could _stay the night_. She knew exactly what the two of them were and yet she was willing to invite him to sleep under their roof, despite the fact that she had very openly scolded him when he had invited girls to stay over.

“Um, yeah, I guess – I guess I could see if he wants to” Ashton stammered, biting into his food to occupy himself as he shrugged gently.

“Wait, why does that mean me and Owen have to go out? We don’t have the money to be eating out just ‘cause this dickhead is having his mate over!” Elliot complained through a mouthful of food, their father merely sitting at the end of the table _reading his newspaper_ as usual and not saying a word.

“Because I said so, okay? I’m your mother and what I say goes; I’ll even give you both some money if it means you’ll both stay out for the night” she scolded, standing with her hands on her hips and staring at the eldest of her sons.

“Jesus Christ, I think mum fancies this friend of yours, Ash” Owen murmured at his mother’s outburst, earning an awkward laugh from the youngest boy; “Better lock her down before she runs away with a minor and we’re begging for her to come home on national television” he continued to joke, all three of the boys laughing as their mother rolled her eyes.

Ashton was still a little uneasy as he finished off his food, sitting there and wondering why his mother was so desperate for Luke to come around. His stomach churned a bit at the thought of her confronting the two of them or even worse, making the two of them _come out_ to Ashton’s father. His worries subsided slightly as he managed to override his exaggerated thoughts and reminded himself that she would never do that to him; never make him do something that he wasn’t ready for or didn’t want to do. He loved her for that. For letting him be who he was without questioning or trying to convince him that this was all just a phase. He knew that she probably only wanted Luke around so she could check him out and decide whether the boy was going to treat her son correctly. He also knew that she would absolutely love Luke – that she would treat the boy as though he had been a member of their family for his entire life and love him as her own.

Ashton wasn’t so scared anymore; he had his mother right behind him.

 

*

It was midday at college and Ashton found himself stood in the usual spot outside with his friends as they enjoyed their lunch break, smoking cigarettes and listening to the lucky few who managed to get tickets talk about the Stone Roses gig at Spike Island. Calum and Michael were sat on top of one of the wooden tables, their feet placed on top of the seats as they chatted up two of the girls from their English class. Ashton wasn’t involved in the conversation as he was too busy keeping an eye out for Luke, half listening to a boy telling him that the government was always watching them as he waited for the blonde to appear.

“- but you see, they’re _everywhere_ man, fucking everywhere” the boy pondered, scratching at the marks on his arm from regularly administering heroin, (Ashton soon realised that his drug addiction probably explained why he was talking so much irrational _garbage_.)

“Yeah Nathan, that’s really interesting mate” Ashton replied nonchalantly, blowing the smoke into the other boys face and pretending it was an accident; “But I’m sure the government have better things to do than watch me have a wank on an evening” he continued, various other people chuckling around them at his teasing remark.

Nathan began to talk again but Ashton completely disregarded what he was saying as he saw Luke and a few of his friends stumbling out of the main door and down the stairs into the courtyard. He managed to pry his way through a few people before shouting _‘Luke!’_ across the yard, the other boy turning towards the sound and smiling softly when his eyes landed on Ashton’s face. He watched as Luke ushered his friends over with him, walking towards Ashton’s group of friends as most of the other people remained in their own conversations. Ashton could feel the eyes of Calum and Michael burning into the back of his neck as the blonde boy was now stood in front of him.

 

“Hey, Ash” Luke beamed; “Oh um, this is Carter and Freddie if you don’t remember, you met them at the pub the other week.”

“Yeah I remember! How’s it going guys?” Ashton asked politely, his gaze fluttering over the other two before settling on the soft features of the blonde. The two boys muttered something incoherent in response before wandering over to Cal and Michael and involving themselves in that conversation. Luke shrugged in response to his friends rude actions before the two of them gave a gentle laugh.

“You okay? You look absolutely wrecked, man” Ashton asked worriedly, his hand reaching up to Luke’s face but stopping halfway as he remembered he couldn’t do that here.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just not sleeping too well, my mind’s fucking buzzing for some reason” Luke sighed, running his hand over his face; “And I’m aware I look like the walking dead, you don’t need to remind me” he groaned.

Ashton chuckled lightly at the boy in an attempt to hide his concern; “Nah, you still look beautiful” Ashton managed to whisper quietly enough so that just the two of them could hear, a blush immediately filtering over Luke’s cheeks.

 _“Ash”_ Luke scolded, quickly glancing around to check no one had heard, although it was very unlikely as everyone was engaged in their own conversations; “But thank you - you do too by the way” he said back, their eyes meeting and a calmness spreading over the two of them as they felt as though they were in their own little bubble.

“I always do” Ashton smirked, earning an eye-roll from Luke in response. “Anyway” he continued, “I was wondering if you wanted to come round tonight, like, to have dinner and stuff – my mum’s desperate for you to come over ever since she found out that we’re friends again”, both of them flinching at the use of the term ‘friend’ in regards to this relationship.

“Oh um, yeah that sounds good” Luke blinked, a little bit shocked at Ashton’s mother requesting his presence; “Can I meet you at your house though? I need to go home first but I could get to yours for about six?”

“Yeah, no worries – just come round whenever. We normally eat at about half seven, so six should be good” Ashton beamed, noticing that Luke had stuffed his hands into the pockets of his parka (a nervous habit that he had come to realise.)

 

The two boys stood there in a content silence, their gaze locked as though they could see the events of the previous night swirling in one another’s eyes. Ashton flinched when he felt a hand slap itself on the top of his back, the two of them both looking behind him to see that it was just Michael.

“Hey boys” he stated with a smile, mockingly kissing Ashton on the cheek as the curly-haired boy groaned in protest; “What evil schemes are you plotting here?” he continued to tease, earning a coy smile from Luke.

“Oh y’know, just world domination and all that shit” Luke retorted, shrugging his shoulders and earning a mock gasp from Michael in response.

“How could you do that to me, Ash? You know it’s always been my dream to bring down the system” Michael pretended to pout, wrapping his arms around Ashton’s waist from behind in a way that he has done for years. Ashton couldn’t help but note the guilty feeling that flooded into his stomach when he saw Luke unintentionally wince at Michael’s actions.

“God, you’re so in love with me it hurts” Ashton teased, poking the boy’s cheek as Luke laughed lightly at the two of them.

“You know it, honey! I’d even take it up the ass for you” Michael joked, un-wrapping his arms and squeezing his arse cheeks as Luke began to blush and turn away, hoping to avert his gaze from the other boys. Ashton also blushed a little at the remark, knowing full well that Michael was joking about gays in a way that the majority of boys their age did – they’d be disgusted if they found out someone _actually_ participated in something like that.

“Ugh, gross” Luke scoffed, wrinkling his nose to exaggerate the false-disgust.

“Yeah Mike, you’re fucking grim” Ashton agreed with Luke, fluttering his eyes up so that they exchanged a fleeting moment before refocusing and pushing Michael gently.

“Alright, alright, calm yourselves. Do you really think I’d do something as gross as that, I mean, a _dick_ up my _ass_ , that’s just fucking horrible” Michael groaned, pretending to vomit as Ashton and Luke had to pretend to laugh along, Ashton’s heart pounding in his chest at the uncomfortable situation.

 

If Luke felt anything like Ashton did, Ash knew that the blonde boy’s heart would feel as though it was pounding out of his chest, his ears burning and stomach churning as they listened to Michael vulgarly criticise their sexuality – a sexuality that no one was aware of and that they were still trying to come to terms with. Ashton had a brief moment of panic where he thought that this teasing would make Luke change his mind, force him into being straight and he would leave Ashton feeling lost and disgusted with himself. His worries subsided when Luke slyly slipped their hands together behind the messenger bag hanging at his side, squeezing Ashton’s fingers quickly before retracting his hand. Ashton gave him a pained smile before the bell rang, signalling that it was the end of their lunch hour.

“I’ll see you tonight, yeah?” Ashton double-checked, catching the sleeve of Luke’s jacket as he began to walk away.

“Definitely” Luke smiled, a sigh of relief escaping the other boy; “Tell your mum I really like chocolate cake” he winked before walking off, peering over his shoulder to offer Ashton a final smile before submerging himself in the bustling crowd of people.

“You coming, mate?” Calum asked Ashton, nudging him in the rib with his elbow; “I know English sucks but Shakespeare isn’t gonna wait for us.”

 

*

Ashton sat in the kitchen nervously as his mother fluttered around the room in an excited daze, constantly asking whether Luke liked mashed potatoes or if he was allergic to anything. He felt as though he was constantly rolling his eyes at her questions, leaning back in his chair and placing his feet on the table as he observed her cooking, occasionally answering her questions.

“I even ran out and bought a chocolate cake, is he going to think that’s weird?” she rushed, her eyes widening at the thought of the boy thinking that she’s too keen.

“ _Fuck sake_ , mum, calm down” Ashton groaned, tipping his head back and releasing a heavy sigh; “He really isn’t going to care what you feed him – plus, he’s too polite to complain even if you gave him food poisoning.”

“Are you suggesting that I _am_ going to give him food poisoning, Ashton Fletcher?” his mother scolded, pointing a sauce covered spoon accusingly across the room; “I’ll have you know that I bought all of these things fresh today, so _nobody_ will be getting ill from my cooking.”

Ashton laughed at her defensive response, crossing his arms and smiling at her as she shook her head. “You’re a horrible son, I hope you realise that.”

“Oh mum, you know I love you” he scoffed, standing up and wrapping his arms around her from behind, placing his head on her shoulder before tickling her sides gently.

He began to reach for something cooking in the frying pan before she slapped him on the back of the hand; “Jesus, Ashton, you’re a pain in the arse tonight! Go and check what time it is, I’m sure he’ll be here any minute”.

His mother was correct, it was actually ten past six and Luke would literally be here any time soon, a nervous feeing bubbling in Ashton’s stomach at the thought of the boy being in such a domestic environment with his mother. He knew that she wouldn’t say anything out of line; wouldn’t mention anything before Ashton did or imply that she knew the nature of their relationship – something that he would _forever_ be grateful for. He still worried that his brothers would come home from their girlfriend’s houses (which would be unlikely as they were both sex deprived and in need of a female’s company) and that his father might return home from his over-night conference in Birmingham, but he tried to dismiss those thoughts as he heard the doorbell chime.

 

His mother ushered him towards the front door, wafting her apron at him and handing him the key. He unlocked the door with slightly trembling hands, opening it to find the blonde boy nervously chewing on his bottom lip and wearing a Stone Roses t-shirt under his jacket. “Hey, Ash – sorry I’m late, I had to walk the dog” he said whilst giving an apologetic smile.

“It’s alright, mum’s a bit behind schedule with the food anyway” Ashton gave him a quick smile, scratching the back of his neck before noticing that Luke was holding a bunch of flowers; “Those better not be for me” Ashton teased before leading the blonde inside and closing the door behind them.

“’Course they’re not, dickhead, they’re for your mum” he mumbled, sliding his feet out of his white converse and pushing them to the side.

“Sorry for thinking you could be romantic” Ashton winked before walking the blonde slowly backwards so that his back was pressed against the wall near the door, taking the bunch of flowers and placing them on the side-table.

“What are you –ˮ Luke began before being cut off as Ashton kissed him, soon losing himself in the feel of the curly-haired boy’s lips and allowing his eyes to flutter closed, his hands meeting Ashton’s hips as Ashton held the side of his jaw in his right hand. Ashton pulled away with a sigh before resting his forehead against Luke’s, the two of them revelling in the fact that they could do this when they were in private.

“Fuck, I’ve missed that” Ashton mumbled, pressing his lips against Luke’s a few more times before reluctantly pulling himself away; “Come on, mum’s basically weeing herself because she’s that excited” he continued, rolling his eyes and indicating that the flustered blonde should follow him into the kitchen.

 

 

“Goodness me, you haven’t half grown up!” his mother cooed, shimmying over so that she could look up at the tall blonde boy and hold his cheeks in her hands; “You’re a tall lad, aren’t you!?”

Luke chuckled, smiling and reaching to grab the bouquet of flowers that Ashton was holding for him; “These are for you, Mrs. Irwin. I wasn’t sure what kind of flowers you liked, so I just got you some tulips. I hope they’re okay” he said nervously, offering her a small smile before presenting her with the flowers.

“Oh my, they’re beautiful! And please, call me Anne” she beamed, taking the flowers and placing them in the sink as she began to run a basin of water for them to sit in or the time being.

“I hope you like sausages and mash potato, Luke, because that’s what we’re having” she smiled over her shoulder at the blonde boy who was currently shrugging off his parka and placing it on the back of one of the chairs.

“That sounds great, thank you for having me by the way” Luke complimented, sitting himself in the chair beside Ashton as Anne scurried around to find some clean plates.

“Jesus, you two are _way_ too chummy” Ashton complained, earning a chuckle from both Luke and his mother in response; “Mum, do you remember Luke’s 10th birthday when dad came to pick me up from the disco but he was absolutely hammered?” Ashton reminisced, his mother sighing and nodding her head with a resounding smile.

“Yes, I was _so_ embarrassed! I don’t think your mum has ever forgiven us for that Luke” she chuckled, spooning potatoes onto the three plates.

“Nah, I’m sure she has. She won’t even remember if I’m honest” Luke comforted her, waving his hand to indicate that it was all in the past; “She told me to say hello from her by the way, and that you should come round to have coffee with her sometime so you can catch up.”

 

Ashton gave a breathy laugh at how domestic this all was before Luke gave him a sly kick under the table, Ashton smirking as he hooked his leg around Luke’s and kept the two of them locked together. Luke blushed as Ashton ran his foot slowly up his calf, the affectionate gesture seeming to cause his stomach to erupt in butterflies, mainly because he was concerned that Ashton’s mother would see and question them (not that she ever would, but Luke was currently unaware of that).

“Oh Liz, she’s always been such a sweetheart” Anne spoke mainly to herself as she placed their three plates on the table; “Help yourself to gravy, Luke, there’s plenty to go round” she continued, indicating to the jug in the centre of the table.

“Here, I’ll pour you some” Ashton offered once he had finished putting the sauce on his own food, pouring onto Luke’s meal before the blonde indicated for him to stop and thanked him.

“So Luke, what are you studying at college?” Ashton’s mother asked politely, sitting herself down and joining the boys at the table.

“History, Philosophy and English Literature” Luke replied, his gaze fluttering to Ashton’s when he felt the boy watching him contently, both of them smiling gently.

“Oh wow, pretty hefty subjects then!” she commented, Luke laughing and nodding in response; “You must be a little brain box.”

“Not quite” Luke blushed; “Just interested in reading I guess” he shrugged, stabbing some carrots with his fork.

“The opposite of Ash then, I can’t remember the last time he read the back of a cigarette packet, never mind a book” she teased, winking at the curly-haired boy across the table.

“I’ll have you find I read the sugar content on the back of my drink today” Ashton defended, Luke laughing beside him at how ridiculous he sounded; “Don’t laugh, Hemmings, I won’t be the one getting diabetes whilst you’re reading fucking Shakespeare or something.”

 

The three of them ate their meal comfortably and in mindless chatter as they discussed the upcoming concerts that the two boys wanted to go to. Ashton couldn’t believe how _normal_ this all felt; having Luke in his family home and eating dinner with his mother as though he belonged there – as though they were a fucking _couple_ that had been together for years. They snuck glances at each other out of the corner of their eyes, both of them thinking they were being sly when they held hands under the table, but Anne knew: she would always know.

When they had all finished eating and Anne had offered to make them all a cup of coffee, Ashton decided it was time for him to be honest with Luke and tell him about how aware his mother was of their relationship. Luke was extremely polite when he asked if he could smoke in the kitchen, Anne immediately telling him that he could do it wherever he pleased and handed him one of her straights to smoke. The blonde held his lighter to the tip before taking a deep inhale, his chest rising and falling as he watched Ashton twiddle with his fingers.

“Ash, are you alright?” Luke enquired, switching his gaze from the coffee pot to the boy beside him.

“Yeah, I um – I think mum and I need to tell you something. Well, mainly me I guess but mum is involved” Ashton mumbled, coughing to clear his throat and raising his gaze so that he could see the other boy clearly; “Please don’t hate me – or her – it just kind of happened and she’s okay about everything, I pro-ˮ

“Ashton, what is it? You’re scaring me” Luke interrupted, stubbing his cigarette out in the ash-tray on the table and leaning forward in his chair, his eyebrows furrowed. Ashton’s mother also turned and leaned against the counter, smiling at them comfortingly.

“She knows, Luke” Ashton whispered, his eyes glazing over as he took a deep inhale; “She knows about us.”

Luke’s eyes went wide, flickering between the curly-haired boy and his mother, taking shaky breaths as he tried to contain himself. “You mean -ˮ Luke swallowed; “Anne, you – you know what we are, like, _who_ we are?”

“Yes sweetheart. I know you’re gay” she said calmly, bringing the filtered coffee pot and placing it on the table as she saw the two boys tense at her words; “And I don’t hate you for it, I don’t blame either of you because it’s not your choice – you’re still the same boys that I saw at that disco all those years ago” she attempted to humour them, both of the boy’s eyes tearful as they attempted to keep their breathing steady and take in their current situation.

 

“How did you -” Luke choked, blinking to allow his tears to fall; “How did you know? About us, I mean?”

“She found your mixtape” Ashton breathed, turning so that he could look at the dumb-founded blonde beside him; “But she knew before that – don’t even ask me how, some sort of fucking sixth sense or something, but she knew.”

“You can’t tell my mum” Luke panicked, pulling his gaze from his hands and focusing on Ashton’s mother; “Please, oh god please don’t – she’d hate me, I can’t – fuck this can’t be happening” Luke whimpered, shaking his head and turning to face Ashton to see if this was some sort of cruel joke.

“I’m not going to tell anyone, Luke, I wouldn’t put either of you in a situation as dangerous as that” Anne admitted, reaching out across the table to place her hand on top of Luke’s, running her thumb over his shaking fingers; “I promise you, you’ve got to trust me with this. I’d never want to risk either of you being harmed because some people don’t agree with who you are, please boys, please believe me?”

“I believe you” Ashton sobbed out, tears streaming down his face before he took a big breath and placed his hand on Luke’s trembling knee to get his attention; “Luke, you’ve got to trust us, she’s not going to say anything, she wouldn’t do that” he continued, Luke sniffling and letting his eyes land on Ashton’s tear-stained face.

“I trust you – fuck, I do” he trembled, nodding his head to emphasise that he would trust Ashton with the entire _world_ if he had to; “But it just feels so real now, y’know? Like, there’s no going back.”

“Was there ever any going back?” Ashton admitted, taking hold of both of Luke’s hands and squeezing them; “I don’t know about you, Luke, but I couldn’t go back to pretending to be someone I’m not, at least not when it comes to you” he continued, the blonde boy nodding in agreement before being startled by the sound of a telephone ringing.

 

“Fuck sake” Anne groaned, sniffling and wiping her own eyes before standing up to pick up the corded phone on the counter top. “Hello?” she asked, nodding as she heard a voice on the other end of the line, “I mean, I can but-ˮ she was cut off, closing her eyes as she listened, “Okay, okay – I’ll be there in ten minutes” she muttered before slamming the phone down and sighing.

“I’ve got to go to work” she stated expressionlessly; “Janet can’t do the nightshift and I’m the only person available to cover” she continued, her eyes filling with worry at the state she was leaving the two boys in.

“It’s okay” Ashton reassured her; “You go; I think Luke and I need to talk about things anyway, so don’t worry about it” he continued, looking at Luke as he hummed in agreement and offered Anne a small simile; “Plus, don’t you get paid double if they ring you this last minute?” he attempted to sooth the atmosphere, giving her a smile before wiping his nose on the back of his sleeve, pressing kisses to Luke’s knuckles afterwards.

“Do you promise me you’ll both be okay? You’ll be completely on your own” she queried, dabbing her eyes to remove any trace of tears.

“We’ll be fine” Luke sniffed, squeezing Ashton’s hands to indicate that he was referring to more than just the evening – he was referring to _them_ as a _couple_ ; “We always will be” he finished, smiling as Ashton gazed into his eyes with so much love it was almost _painful_.

 

*

Having his mother now gone, Ashton and Luke were continuing to sit at the table as they attempted to broach the subject of their relationship, Ashton having lit a cigarette and offered it to Luke before lighting his own. They sat facing one another; Luke’s knees placed between Ashton’s spread ones as they both tried to regain some emotional strength after the previous ordeal.

“I’m sorry” Ashton mumbled, not entirely sure what he was apologising for but feeling that it was necessary all the same.

“Don’t be, it’s nobody’s fault” Luke comforted, taking a drag of his cigarette; “I just can’t believe that she _accepted it_ , I mean, _nobody_ likes people like us.”

“A lot of people do, just not people around here” Ashton corrected, sighing as he looked at the tired-looking boy in front of him, noticing the fact that Luke had significant bags under his eyes.

“Yeah, you’re right” Luke sighed, looking into the other boy’s emerald eyes and feeling his heart skip a beat for the thousandth time; “We’ll get to be who we are one day with no one telling us that we’re disgusting or wrong – I swear to god we will” he continued, almost as though he was telling himself that rather than Ashton.

“We will” Ashton agreed, dropping his cigarette into the ash-tray and leaning forward to place his palms on top of Luke’s thighs, his head hanging low as he looked at the floor; “It might be a long time off – tens of years even – but I’ll wait for you, for _us”_ he continued before raising his head, their faces mere inches apart as Luke stubbed out his own cigarette and placed his hands on top of Ashton’s.

“I like that – _us_ ” he smiled, Ashton smiling back at him as they both contemplated confirming their relationship; “It feels right, doesn’t it?”

“It sure does” Ashton confirmed, beaming as the blonde boys cheeks flushed at the admission; “It feels fucking ace” he chuckled, Luke letting out a breathy laugh as the blonde brought his face ever closer.

“You’re something else, Ashton Irwin” Luke wondered, his eyes glistening under the bright lights of the kitchen.

 

Ashton didn’t speak another word before he closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to Luke’s, both of them sighing at the build-up of feelings bubbling within them. He kept one of his hands on Luke’s thigh as he trailed the other one up to cup his jaw, kissing with more purpose as the other boy wound his fingers into the hair on the back of his neck. Ashton released a heavy sigh as Luke parted his lips to allow Ashton to slip his tongue against his, the wet contact sounding obscene in the still atmosphere of the room.

“Let me have you” Ashton murmured as he pulled from the kiss to suck against the taut skin of Luke’s neck, the other boy continuing to card his hands through Ashton’s unruly curls.

“You already do” Luke dazed, his eyes batting to remain open as Ashton ran his firm hand up the outside of his thigh, squeezing the flesh as the other remained on the side of his tilted jaw; “But you can _take_ me if that’s what you’re meaning” he continued, Ashton groaning into the crook of his neck at the prospect of his words.

“Do you want that?” Ashton asked; “I won’t do anything that you don’t want me to, Luke” he insisted, pulling his head from the other boy’s abused skin to hold both sides of his face and look into his eyes to search for any sign of hesitation.

“I want it more than anything, Ash” he admitted, kissing the other boy’s forehead; “ _I trust you_ \- Jesus Christ, I trust you with my _fucking life_ never mind anything else.”

“I love you” Ashton blurted out before he could even stop himself, his blood running cold as he processed what he’d just said; “Oh fuck, I’m sor-ˮ he was cut off as Luke crashed his lips against his, his breath catching in his throat at the determination behind it.

“I love you too, Ashton – fuck, I love you _so_ much” he sighed between kisses, Ashton feeling his heart begin to beat again with a new-found purpose, his veins throbbing under his skin as he kissed Luke with more genuine feeling than he ever had before; “So please, _take me_ ” he continued, pressing a firm kiss to the skin behind the other boy’s ear.

 

Would Ashton be able to deny the feeling of sheer _love_ that washed over him when Luke pleaded for something so intimate? No, he wouldn’t – nor would he be able to deny the gentle groan that rumbled in the back of his throat at the thought of the two of them connecting in such a meaningful way; a way that they were both so foreign to yet so eager to embark upon.

He pressed a final kiss to Luke’s lips before taking his hand and leading him upstairs, the two of them determined to take their first step towards being together.

 

*

The two of them stumbled blindly into Ashton’s bedroom, dodging the various items of clothing strewn around the room, the two of them giggling when Luke caught his foot on a discarded pair of boxers. The laugh was cut short when Ashton closed the door and pressed him against it, hitching his thigh between the blonde’s legs to create some well-needed friction, Luke’s groan indicating that it was most appreciated.

“You do realise I have no clue what I’m doing, right?” Luke gasped as Ashton pressed his body flush against his, his teeth skimming the shell of Luke’s ear.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve got you” Ashton hummed, tugging on the lobe of his ear before latching his lips onto the expanse of Luke’s neck once again, his hands in the back pockets of Luke’s jeans; “And if you feel uncomfortable _at all_ , just say the word and I’ll stop, even if I’m balls deep in your pretty little arse” Ashton so crudely put it, Luke flushing in embarrassment at his blatant words.

“Wow, you really are one for romance, aren’t you?” Luke scoffed, hitching his hands up the back of Ashton’s shirt to indicate that he wanted to remove the fabric.

“Stop complaining and kiss me, you bastard” Ashton grumbled after removing his shirt, his bare chest pressed against Luke and the blonde boy’s heart racing a little bit more as he pressed his fingers into Ashton’s warm back.

 

Luke wasn’t going to deny Ashton of such a simple pleasure, kissing the boy with all his might as he tried to convey how he was feeling through the press of their lips, his tongue swiping Ashton’s lower lip and parting his mouth to allow their tongues to meet in a heated tangle. Luke couldn’t help the pathetic whimper that escaped him when Ashton pressed his hands against Luke’s arse through the pockets of his jeans so that he could grind their hips together, the languid circle causing heat to curse through the blonde boy’s body.

“Fuck” Ashton wheezed as he felt them both begin to harden at the contact, their jeans straining; “You’ve got way too many clothes on” he continued, pulling Luke from the wall and walking him backwards towards the bed, removing the boy’s shirt in the process. They maintained a strong eye contact throughout the whole situation, their gaze remaining locked even when he hovered over Luke until the two of them were laid on the bed, Ashton’s body caging the other boy down.

“I’ve imagined you like this, on my bed, so many times it’s untrue” he confessed, licking down the column of Luke’s throat and suckling on his collarbones before continuing his southward journey; “But they’ve never looked quite as good as the real thing – fuck Luke, I wish you could see yourself.”

It was quite a sight to see; Luke’s dishevelled quiff splayed against the navy pillow of Ashton’s bed, his pale body flushed and heaving against the dark sheets as his eyes were glazed over with what could only be described as lust.

“Speak for yourself. You look so good right now, Ash – so good” Luke hummed, his eyes fluttering closed as Ashton kissed his lower stomach, sucking at his hipbone in a desperate attempt to mark every inch of the boy’s body as he tugged the light blue denim from his legs. Luke sprung up so that he was sitting when Ashton began to remove his own jeans, peppering the boy’s shoulders with kisses from behind as he ran his hands down his lightly-haired chest. He couldn’t help the blush that rose on his cheeks when Ashton keened back into the touch, a sigh escaping his lips when Luke wrapped his hands around his hips and massaged his upper-thighs.

“I’m sure this is supposed to be about you” Ashton mumbled whilst turning around so that they were facing each other on their knees, both of them flickering their gaze between one another’s eyes and their fabric-clad crotches.

Ashton pushed Luke’s chest lightly so that he was once again splayed out on the bed, allowing his knees to rest between the blonde’s spread thighs as he kissed him once again; a heated mess of tongue and teeth, but perfect all the same. His hands wandered the expanse of Luke’s torso, his thumbs brushing the boy’s nipples before spreading against his lower stomach and trailing down towards his briefs, his thumbs catching the hem and tugging to request their removal.

“Can I?” Ashton questioned after breaking the kiss, Luke nodding eagerly and aiding him in discarding the pesky fabric; “Jesus Christ, you’re a work of art, Luke” he allowed to slip out in admiration, a bright blush gracing Luke’s cheeks as he fought the urge to cover his modesty, his head turning to face the wall to avoid Ashton’s gaze. “Hey baby, look at me – we don’t have to do this if you’re uncomfortable, I know we’re jumping into things and -ˮ

“No, no, I’m okay, I promise” Luke interrupted, taking Ashton’s left hand in his and rubbing his thumb over the back; “I want this, Ashton. I want _you”_ he whispered the final three words, sincerity pouring into his eyes and causing Ashton’s heart to swell immensely.

 

“I love you” Ashton cooed, pressing a firm kiss to Luke’s forehead before reaching into the draw of his bedside table, the other boy laughing as Ashton pulled out an entire strip of condoms accidentally. “Hey, it’s not my fault they come attached” he defended, a smirk on his face when he saw Luke smiling and shaking his head.

“Okay, I’m going to be honest with you, Luke. I’ve only ever prepared a girl before which is slightly easier because, as you know, women are kind of self-lubricating – hey don’t laugh, I’m serious!” he said, trying to be serious but laughing when Luke childishly laughed at the word ‘lubricating’.

“Okay, okay, I’m listening” Luke calmed himself down, chewing on his lower lip as the nerves began to kick in, waiting for Ashton to continue explaining.

“First off, have you ever fingered yourself before?” Ashton asked to calmly, sitting back to remove his own briefs before returning to his previous position between Luke’s slightly spread legs.

“Um, once or twice yeah” Luke admitted shyly, avoiding Ashton’s eye contact before sighing as Ashton shuffled backwards so that there was a reasonable distance between their hips, raising Luke’s legs so that they were bent before settling between them and pressing kisses to his inner-thighs.

“Better than not at all, means you won’t be two shocked when I do it for you” Ashton mumbled against the supple skin of Luke’s thighs, goosebumps raising in his wake and spreading over the expanse of the boy’s body; “You still okay?” he double-checked, Luke’s gaze trained on the ceiling as he attempted to slow his breathing down.

“Yeah, just a bit nervous, that’s all” Luke breathed, opening his palm so that Ashton could slide is fingers between his, the hand-hold being a slight comfort for the blonde boy as he spread Luke’s legs slightly further, trailing his kisses slightly closer to Luke’s half-hard cock.

 

“I’ll just start with one first, okay? We’ll take it real slow and you can tell me if you’re uncomfortable, yeah? Promise me you’ll tell me, babe” Ashton hummed as he removed his hand from Luke’s so that he could squeeze some lube onto his lengthy fingers.

“I promise. Just do it, I’m okay” Luke gushed out, his heart racing in his chest as he pulled himself so that he was leaning on his elbows, the eye contact he made with the other boy being enough for Ashton to believe that he was telling the truth.

Ashton worked his finger in slowly, spreading lubricant around Luke’s rim whilst he worked on the boy’s length to keep him distracted from the intrusion that was soon to come. Working his finger to the first knuckle was easy enough, a slight burn presenting itself when Ashton worked himself in a bit deeper, Luke having to concentrate on not tensing around him.

“You’re doing so well, Luke – so well” Ashton hummed as Luke began to grow flushed, the feeling of the other boy’s finger no longer uncomfortable as he began to work in a second alongside it, the stretch being something that Luke didn’t expect to feel _good_. “I’m gonna try and find your prostate, okay? Let’s make things a little fun” Ashton informed him, heat rising over Luke’s entire body as Ashton continued to work his now fully-hard cock in his other hand and scissor his fingers within him.

 _“Ash”_ he sighed out when his fingers ran over the head of his length, his other hand still searching for his prostate; “Jesus Christ, that feels so _fucking_ good” he moaned softly, his elbows collapsing and his upper body sinking to the mattress as a shiver rippled through his entire body.

The jerk of Luke’s chest heaving up and his eyes blowing wide in pleasure as he choked on his own breath made Ashton chuckle in knowing, pressing kisses to Luke’s bent knees; “Found it” he pointed out as he once again pressed his fingers against the spot that had Luke crumbling beneath him.

“Oh my god – oh my, _fuck_ ” Luke breathed, taking Ashton’s hand from around his sensitive cock and lacing their fingers together so that he could squeeze the other boy’s palm; “Put in another, please” he sighed out, his eyes fluttering closed and Ashton leaning down to press kisses against his lids and cheeks.

Ashton complied with the blonde’s request, lubricating the three digits before working them inside easily as Luke’s muscles had begun to relax in preparation. Ashton thought Luke looked like the epitome of a dirty magazine; his legs spread obscenely wide as he panted and a light sheen of sweat coated his body, the pale lids of his eyes battling to stay open, never mind remain focused on Ashton.

“You look filthy, Luke, absolutely filthy and it’s _so_ hot” Ashton hummed into his neck, the other boy raking his nails down his back at his words; “Let me know when you’re ready, pretty boy” he continued as he proceeded to scissor his fingers gently, a light moan filtering through Luke’s kiss-swollen lips.

 

“I’m ready” Luke grumbled, pulling Ashton’s face from his neck so that he could place a firm kiss on his lips, nodding his head to emphasise his words; “God, I love you so much, Ashton” he whispered, trailing the pads of his fingers delicately down the boy’s spine to ignite a shiver.

“I love you too – more than anything” Ashton muttered against his lips before leaning back and tearing open a foil packet, taking the latex and rolling it down his painfully-hard length, a pleasured wave surging through him at the first bit of contact to his member all evening; “I’ll take it slow, let me know if you want me to stop or anything.”

“Mhmm” Luke nodded, taking a deep breath and shuddering when the head of Ashton’s cock scraped against his widened rim, the two of them making eye-contact before them embarked upon their first union; “ _I trust you_ ” Luke echoed the words he spoke from the first time they were together in his garage, Ashton’s heart swelling as he slowly began to push in.

It was a tight squeeze, Luke struggling to keep his body relaxed throughout the intrusion and releasing shaky breaths as he focused on not crying, Ashton pressing kisses to the corner of his eyes and wherever else he could reach on the boy’s face, whispering sweet nothings as he desperately tried to sooth Luke’s pain.

“How do you feel?” Ashton strained, his voice caught in his throat as he concentrated on not simply fucking the blonde into the mattress as he would’ve done with previous girls.

Luke choked out “Full – yeah, so fucking _full_ ” and took heavy breaths, reaching between the two of them to languidly stroke his softening cock in an attempt to calm himself. Ashton removed his hand and replaced it with his own, working Luke as he held himself up with his other hand and knees and allowed Luke to suck on his collarbones to distract himself.

“Just letting you know that you feel absolutely _incredible_ ” Ashton wheezed out, closing his eyes in concentration; “Fuck – I’m gonna have to move soon, baby, I’m getting cramp in my arse-cheeks” he groaned, to which Luke released a breathy chuckle and massaged the flesh of his buttocks to ease some of the tenseness in the muscles.

“I’m good” he hummed, pressing a kiss to Ashton’s temple; “You can move.”

 

Ashton released a heavy sigh as he rocked back on his knees slowly before pushing back in, both of them content with how much Luke had managed to accustom to Ashton’s size. Pleasure soon began to override the pain as Luke released a shaky moan and latched his hands into the groove of Ashton’s shoulder blades, clinging on to the damp skin and the other boy continued to rock his hips into his own.

“You’re everything to me, Luke, absolutely everything” Ashton groaned into the blonde’s neck, sucking under his ear and soothing it with his tongue; “You can’t leave me now, not after this.”

Luke whimpered at Ashton’s vocal insecurities, the fact that they shouldn’t be together not ghosting through either of their thoughts as they revelled in the feeling of being together; “I couldn’t even if I tried, because I’m yours, Ashton - all yours” he confessed, reaching between them to rub his palm languidly over the head of his leaking cock, his impending release creeping closer with every brush of his prostate; “That’s it, right there” he mumbled, tears welling in the back of his eyes with how good this all felt.

“I’ve got you, Lukey” Ashton confirmed, angling his body so that he could repeatedly graze the surreal ring of pleasure within the blonde, Luke’s breathy moans being more than enough encouragement for him to continue. Luke wrapped one of his hands into the hairs on the back of Ashton’s neck, pulling him down so that they could meet in a messy kiss, their noses bumping due to the consistent rhythm the other boy had managed to perfect.

“I’m gonna come soon” Ashton moaned, the sound catching in his throat as Luke began to jerk himself off between the two of them, desperate to reach that point at the same time that Ashton did; “God, I want a picture of you looking like that to burn into the back of my mind – you look so fucking good” he breathed, Luke whimpering beneath him as he began to raise his hips so that the two of them met harshly. Ashton’s rhythm began to falter as he felt fire begin to pool in his stomach, a wave of heat rushing through the veins in his body as he neared his release and focused on the ethereal boy beneath him.

 

Luke looked like a masterpiece that belonged in the National Gallery when he came; his head tilting back so that the entire expanse of his bruised neck was revealed, his chest flushing a delicate shade of pink and his stomach muscles jumping as his mouth dropped open and allowed no sound as tears welled in the corners of his eyes at how intense his orgasm was. The tight squeeze of his ass around Ashton was enough for him to release a loud moan and literally _whimper_ Luke’s name into the crook of his neck, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as he fought for air.

Ashton had never felt such a sense of _possession_ and unruly amount of _emotion_ when he had fucked girls in the past, but being with Luke he felt both of those things to an uncanny degree.

He never wanted someone to look at Luke in the same way he did. He never wanted a girl to cling onto Luke’s side in a bar and attempt to take him home. He never wanted someone to think that they could even _flirt_ with the blonde boy. He wanted Luke in every single way possible and that was something that he was unfamiliar with; the desire to have someone as his and for him to be theirs. _Ashton had never wanted someone to want him before,_ but god dammit he did now.

The gentle whine that Luke released when he began to grow uncomfortable with Ashton softening inside him drew him back into reality, apologising incessantly as he removed himself carefully, slipping off the condom, tied it, and threw it onto the floor beside his bed.

 

“I love you so much” Luke hummed as his eyes fluttered open to look into Ashton’s, the two of them looking at one another as though they were the only thing that mattered in the world. They _were_ the only thing that mattered; “More than you’ll ever know.”

“Oh, I know it alright. You just let me put my dick in your pretty little ass – if that’s not love then I don’t know what is” he teased, Luke pushing him so that he flopped down beside him, the two of them turning to face each other as Luke plastered a pout on his face. “No but seriously, I know how much you love me Luke because it’s the same amount of love that I have for you” he confessed, a blush gracing his cheeks as he was not used to wearing his heart on his sleeve.

“Then that’s all that matters” Luke muttered, his hand coming up to cup Ashton’s jaw as he was pulled too him by Ashton wrapping an arm around his waist, their clammy skin pressing against one another again.

Ashton began to trail his fingers delicately up and down Luke’s spine before whispering; “You’re all that matters, Luke” pressing a kiss to the blonde’s forehead; “You’re the only thing that’s ever mattered.”


End file.
